Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
