Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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