I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize