I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
