Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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