people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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