All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
