Fuck appropriateness.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
