Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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