We named our party play list daddy issues
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
