I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
