Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
