Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize