the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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