Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
