It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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