my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
