I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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