Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I am mentally ready for anal.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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