Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
