my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
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