omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Drunk is not a location!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize