no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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