just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
