when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
