You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
