Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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