How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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