You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
