well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
