I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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