so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
