he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
