she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
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Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
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I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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