Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
