I didn't shave. On purpose
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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