so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Panties = found
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
