I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
