talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
