If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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