There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
if only i could text you this smell
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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