I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
