The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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