Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
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