just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
