how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
