take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
did you just send me my own nude
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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