hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
