Texts From Last Night

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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I can't open my eyes

  (925): View more from California

  Lol why not?

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk

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  (808) I can't open my eyes (925) Lol why not? (808) Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk http://tfl.nu/5iv9
  Replies (4) Good night (1183) Bad night (1351)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me

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  (312): I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me http://tfl.nu/3z7z
  Replies (11) Good night (4595) Bad night (1369)
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  (+44): View more from England

  Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying

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  (+44): Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying http://tfl.nu/14fx
  Replies (62) Good night (6738) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.

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  (616): We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks. http://tfl.nu/giz7
  Replies (14) Good night (4969) Bad night (1115)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.

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  (318): That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior. http://tfl.nu/48ho
  Replies (17) Good night (5281) Bad night (1266)
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  (415): View more from California

  I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground

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  (415): I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground http://tfl.nu/kjbx
  Replies (7) Good night (3218) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again

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  (415): i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again http://tfl.nu/roxu
  Replies (5) Good night (2804) Bad night (1489)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.

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  (503): He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success. http://tfl.nu/fztg
  Replies (8) Good night (1176) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.

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  (602): If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for. http://tfl.nu/540a
  Replies (17) Good night (1794) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.

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  (503): I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life. http://tfl.nu/c2dk
  Replies (15) Good night (644) Bad night (2359)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  he went at my nipples like a starved dog.

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  (812): he went at my nipples like a starved dog. http://tfl.nu/ku4j
  Replies (11) Good night (737) Bad night (1520)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.

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  (541): He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec. (541): Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY. http://tfl.nu/zkog
  Replies (4) Good night (432) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night

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  (414): Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night http://tfl.nu/d0sx
  Replies (0) Good night (338) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now

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  (815): I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now http://tfl.nu/gmmk
  Replies (5) Good night (657) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus

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  (585): He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus http://tfl.nu/4ztr
  Replies (3) Good night (740) Bad night (240)

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