Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.