Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
