those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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