69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
