why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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