Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
