smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
tell me about the fingering
Randomize