Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
