Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
